It was NOT an apology

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Let’s be honest.

An apology is not an apology if it is not directed toward the person who was actually hurt, and you do not earn forgiveness unless you apologize to that person either.

If I were to rob from you or physically harm you, my apologizing to my family for the shame I brought them in no way constitutes an actual apology until I apologize and make amends to you.

This is Josh Duggar’s original apology, before the multiple rewrites that followed, when it was revealed he had a paid membership on Ashley Madison, a web site that helps people cheat on their spouses.

“I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.

I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.

The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings.

As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose to our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.

I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.”

Josh Duggar

But if you noticed, he did not apologize to those Gay people whose lives he hypocritically misrepresented, and whom he used as scapegoats when promoting his organization’s (The Family Research Council) agenda.

He did NOT apologize to those Gay kids that were thrown out of their homes and forced to survive on the streets by parents who thought they were doing the correct religiously based thing.
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He did NOT apologize to those kids whose lives were made a hell on earth by their peers, or even total strangers, who harassed and bullied them in the name of religion.

He did NOT apologize to those Gay kids who took their lives when life and social treatment overwhelmed them.

He did NOT apologize to those families of Gay kids who may have realize too late that the way they treated their kids was wrong, and now live with a physical separation from their living kids, and an eternal separation from their dead ones.

This is NOT an apology.

It is an attempt to further dupe people into treating him as if all is just fine now that he has said the right things.

The essence of his apology,

“I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him”,

is not directed to the victims of his hypocrisy, but is a veiled appeal to those in his family and those who share his religious views that this just be allowed to fade away and not hurt the family’s broadcast franchise.

He wants sympathy, not forgiveness, and he certainly does not want this minor peccadillo to turn people away from the upcoming special and hoped for future reality show where his parents, who chose not to address his sexual difficulties when he was young, advise people on sexual abuse.

He needs to apologize to those he really harmed in his quest for money.

One tangible way to show he is truly sorry might be to volunteer some time at a shelter that addresses the homelessness of those children who have been thrown out of their homes in the name of religion and the FRC propaganda he espoused because of their sexual orientation and gender identity.

Oh, and without making a reality show out of it.

 

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