And the lawyer asked,
“And who is my neighbor?”
In reply Jesus said:
“A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
The expert in the law replied,
“The one who had mercy on him.”
And then Republican Jesus answered,
“Don’t be an putz. The guy was from a foreign country. He should not have been there in the first place. He should have been just left where he was lying because, look, it cost some stranger a lot of money, and he took up a room in the inn that someone else, perhaps someone who would not just pay for the room and basic food, but would have splurged on the other amenities, and the owner could have made more money.
Yeah, the Samaritan guy might have been a neighbor of sorts to the stranger, but he wasn’t very neighborly to the inn keeper.
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And if he died, well, that was just the way it was.”
And then He continued.
”Verily I say unto you. These are verses in the Bible you should also ignore if you really want to call yourselves my followers.
Hebrews 12:2-Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
Galatians 5:14 – For all the law is fulfilled in one word, [even] in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Leviticus 25:35-38 – And if thy brother be waxen poor, and fallen in decay with thee; then thou shalt relieve him: [yea, though he be] a stranger, or a sojourner; that he may live with thee.
Galatians 3:28 – There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Jeremiah 22:3 – Thus saith the LORD; Execute ye judgment and righteousness, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the oppressor: and do no wrong, do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, nor the widow, neither shed innocent blood in this place.1
Romans 14:1-23 – Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, [but] not to doubtful disputations.
And with that He walked away shaking his head in beatific disbelief.