A sad passing

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When I first arrived in Oklahoma City, I knew no one. I had a friend in California whose grandmother lived there, so I introduced myself, and ended up staying in a room in her house. As convenient as this was in the beginning, and as conveniently located as it was to the school where I was a substitute teacher, I felt confined and looked for the opportunity to move out. I felt uncomfortable and a little restrained living in someone else’s house, and Dorothy was a force in spite of her good intentions.

I got a permanent teaching position at a school further away, and this was the motivation to look elsewhere. Not having saved enough yet to rent an apartment, and not thinking I would stay beyond a second year, I rented a room in a hotel/resort in the middle of the Gayborhood conveniently close to the school to which I could walk if need be, and on the edge of the Strip on 39th Street where the Gay bars, other Gay owned businesses, and the community center were.

On many nights I would walk around the corner to the bar Tramps, and sit quietly and read a book. The music was good and the drinks were big, free pour ones whose strength depended on how good you were as a patron. I socialized on the weekend nights, but during the week Tramps was like my study with a great stereo system and a good bar set up.

One night it was snowing heavily and traffic was light. I walked to the bar, took a stool, and got my drink. There were only four other people in the bar, the bartender, John-Girl; Eddie, who was like the guardian and guru of the young Black men who filled the bar on Saturday nights; Danae Daniels, a very popular female impersonator with a biting wit that sometimes got so close to the line of acceptability/unacceptability, that a sudden breeze could nudge it over the line; and, sitting at the south end of the bar in the seat he often took, was Tony Sinclair.

I knew Mr. Sinclair was an historic person in the Oklahoma City Gay Community, and that he had quite the story to tell, if you could get him to tell it, but I had never spoken to him, perhaps merely nodded a hello occasionally, because I did not think I was “worthy” enough to talk to him.

He was waiting for his partner, and eventual part owner of the bar, Hayden, to come give him a ride home, but as the snow fell, it was obvious from no one else coming in that this was going to be a long wait.

As usually happens in a bar where the people present have agreed not to talk about religion or politics, the main topic, that eventually became the only one, was about people and the dirt associated with them. The other four people knew many of the same people and the dirt they could exchange about them, but they were not cruel. It was more a good natured story told, followed by a few juicy extra wink-wink, nudge-nudge details and some commentary.

I listened for a while, and then when I thought it appropriate, I threw in a bit of commentary. Danae and Tony were a little surprised not by what I said, but that I, who sat quietly reading and seemed in a world of my own would know the dirt I did.

I explained to the others that it was apparent that while I was sitting at the back of the bar reading, people had made certain assumptions, the biggest one being that, while reading I was so into the book, I could not hear. Often, when someone had something to say about someone else that they did not want to be overheard saying, they would bring their audience over and stand next to, or near enough to me so that I could hear them. The other assumption seemed to be that I was so wrapped up in my reading, I never looked away from the book, so they would freely point out the person about whom they were gossiping, and I would look. I had become the mailman who was there every day, but was never noticed.

I was, therefore, very well informed.

From that night on I had new friends, one of whom was Mr. Tony Sinclair with whom over the years I had many conversations. But no matter what we talked about, the one topic that was always brushed aside, was Tony’s past. He had a story to tell, but did not see why people would be interested in it. In spite of my insistence, he never gave in, at least to me.

One night during GLBT Pride Month I attended a lecture where a professor from a local college was presenting his doctoral paper about the History of Gay men in Oklahoma City, and Tony Sinclair, and the past he thought no one would be interested in came up.

Most of the information is probably already known by people who knew him better than I did, but this is for those who may not have known him at all.

Tony Sinclair was Oklahoma’s most well-known female impersonator. He would be the first to tell you he was not a Drag Queen but a man who impersonated females on stage and chose not only to keep his male name even when performing, always being introduced either as “Mr. Tony Sinclair” or “Mr. Tony Sinclair as…..”, but only wore female attire when performing, unlike many Drag Queens who might dress up for a night on the town.

As a young man Tony toured the United States as a member of a drag troupe, and when he arrived in Oklahoma City is not commonly known. In keeping with his reluctance to give details about his life he acknowledged arriving in the city around 1965, although there is a record of his involvement in one of the city’s Gay clubs in the 1950’s.  Besides making specialized outfits for striptease artists and showgirls in Oklahoma City and the southwest, he made a living for years performing at straight clubs all over the United States and in downtown Oklahoma City.
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When I asked once about his performing a strip-tease routine at straight clubs without them realizing he was actually male, he told me that he never took it all off, but led the audience to believe he was going to. That way by building the suspense he could build the excitement, and as the old theater adage goes, “always leave them wanting more”.

Tony is said to be the finest female impersonator ever to perform in Oklahoma City, with a reputation that stretches from coast to coast. I know this to be true as, one afternoon after moving back to Massachusetts and having a drink in a bar in Boston after a day of political meetings, I saw pictures of Drag Queens hanging on the wall behind the bar, and noticed one that looked like Tony. When I asked the bartender who it was, he told me that it was Tony Sinclair out of Oklahoma City.

He was known for impersonating a wide range of celebrities, his best known was Diana Ross. As the story goes, he once performed as her opening act in Oklahoma, and while receiving applause from the audience, the real Diana Ross came out on stage to begin her show and reveal the trick that had been played on the audience.

He was a perfectionist with a sharp tongue who trained other female impersonators to be total professionals. He started his own troupe of performers, Les Girls,that appeared in Oklahoma and Texas.

Female impersonation was an important source of information dissemination and subculture formation.

By the time I got to Oklahoma City, Tony Sinclair was like the Grand Dame .

Besides being a female impersonator, among other things, Tony worked with his partner, Hayden Allen, at Allen’s Place, Hayden’s downtown restaurant. When the Oklahoma City Bombing took place, the restaurant was within the damage zone which meant they would automatically receive funds. Tony and Hayden turned down any such funds because they had not received enough damage to warrant taking money that would best help those who really needed it. Sadly this is notable as very few did likewise and too many took money only because they were within the zone.

Mentioning this to Tony only got you a disapproving side eye.

In my time in Oklahoma City, besides his regular Wednesday and Sunday shows, Tony seemed always involved with fundraisers for various Community causes. One such fundraiser, although the performers he had on stage were doing great performances that the packed bar cheered for, money was not getting into the collection bowl. Tony came out for his next number, but before beginning he stepped forward and reminded the audience it was a fundraiser, and if they could clap and cheer, the audience could also put money in the collection bowl. People may not have been too happy with the dressing down, but the bowl kept filling as the night went on.

By the time I had left town, Tony Sinclair’s performances started to become a rarity. Gay bars are the smokiest places I have ever been in, so I just assumed that after years of performing in them, the second hand smoke might have just become too much to deal with on a regular basis.

I have often spoken of him to people I have met in Massachusetts. He is one of those people who, while we were not close friends, added something to my life experience and has become one of the people in the stories I tend to tell.

Tony passed away over the weekend. He will be missed by the Oklahoma GLBT Community especially the various performers who worked with him often in shows and fundraisers and the many female impersonators he has taught over the years and brought that training to cities all over the country.

For me, he is the last of the four people who have now passed on who made Tramps a home away from home for me and so many others. With them it wasn’t just a bar.

Larry Crosby, one of the owners of the club and an extremely generous person passed away a few years ago. Chuck, who was the general factotum of the bar with whom I had many interesting conversations as he checked IDs at the door was next with Hayden Following him. And now, Tony.

I feel lucky to have been there when these people were there, and I feel bad that people coming up now will not have known them and the history they were.

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