I miss you every day.

I relive with horror that night when you were beaten by people who believed the negative stereotypes and purposeful misinformation spread by religious leaders and politicians to scare people to Jesus or to get votes.

I remember the moment when the Doctor told me you were gone.

We were out that night to have a dinner and then some dancing at a club to put some cheer in your life after you were dismissed from your teaching job because the spineless administrators, rather than defend you as the good teacher and person you were, gave into the hate talk that you, and all Gay teachers only worked in the classroom so that they could be closer to their prey.

It’s what they heard on talk radio and from the pulpit.

But between the restaurant and the club we were jumped, and as they beat you to the ground your murderers yelled that you, a veteran, did not deserve to live in this country, and the rights your siblings, raised by the same parents,  had were their rights as Americans while your having them bestowed on you special rights. Your murderers listened to those pastors who demand that the government eliminate you by putting all Gays to death, but were never denounced by the good Christians. They now want everyone to be civil and speak nice, but they ignore the damage they have done, and lives lost because of their words. They want us to just move on without apology from them.

And here you lie.

I miss you.

 

Rick Brattin, a Republican lawmaker in the Missouri House of Representatives, recently claimed:

“When you look at the tenets of religion, of the Bible, of the Qu’ran, of other religions, there is a distinction between homosexuality and just being a human being.”

People have no compunction with shooting at non-human things, so, apparently hunting season on Gays is open

Pastor Steven Anderson, of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona, informed his congregation in a sermon,

“Turn to Leviticus 20:13 because ‘If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them’. And that, my friend, is the cure for AIDS. It was right there in the Bible all along — and they’re out spending billions of dollars in research and testing. It’s curable — right there. Because if you executed the homos like God recommends, you wouldn’t have all this AIDS running rampant.”

He also pointed out that if this were done quickly, there would be no AIDS by Christmas.

Brainerd Baptist Church Senior Pastor Robby Gallaty, told his large Tennessee congregation that Christians should never stop discriminating against homosexuals, and that,

“God said that the sins of the people had infected the very land in which they live. So what happens to people who engage in this activity, this sexual immoral activity? Go to Leviticus 20, God gives us the punishment for engaging in these sins… ‘If a man sleeps with a man as with a woman, they have both committed a detestable thing. They must be put to death. And their blood is on their own hands.’

Another pastor, Pastor Curtis Knapp of the New Hope Baptist Church in Seneca, Kansas said.

“We punish pedophilia, we punish incest, we punish polygamy and various things. It’s only homosexuality that is lifted out as an exemption.”

When he was questioned on the radio about comments he made that advocated that Christians should kill Gays, he replied,

“No, I’m saying the government should. They won’t, but they should.”

Kevin Swanson, the far-right pastor and host of the “Generations Radio” program, who also advocated that the government put people to death held a conference, “National Religious Liberties Conference” in Des Moines, Iowa, during the long presidential campaign season.

In his introduction to Ted Cruz, who was a featured speaker, he included in his remarks,

 “Yes, Leviticus 20:13 calls for the death penalty for homosexuals, yes! His words, not mine!. “I…am willing…to go…to jail! These are the people with the sores, the gaping sores! The sores that are pus-y! And gross! And people are coming in and carving happy faces on the sores! …Don’t you dare carve happy faces on open pus-y sores!”

Phillip Kayser was among the several speakers who joined Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz and Bobby Jindal at that conference, and had distributed his pamphlet, “Is The Death Penalty Just?,” which supported the death penalty for crimes including homosexuality among the offenses deserving of capital punishment.

He has said,

“God revealed that the homosexual act is a civil crime, and it just so happens that He revealed that the homosexual act as a civil crime deserves the death penalty.”

In spite of this statement and others expressing his view, when he ran for president, he had endorsed Ron Paul for president and Paul’s campaign proudly welcomed the endorsement.

And remember, this is the kind of literature being promoted at a “religious liberty” conference.

In an interview a leader in the Salvation Army was involved in this radio interview exchange:

Serena Ryan: “If I go and I read that [Salvation Army Handbook of Doctrine], and I connect with my [homo]sexuality, then that says, according to the Salvation Army, that I deserve death. How do you respond to that, as part of your doctrine?”
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Andrew Craibe a Salvation army official: “Well, that’s a part of our belief system.”

Ryan: “So we should die.”

Craibe: “Well, we have an alignment to the Scriptures, but that’s our belief.”

The Salvation Army walked that back later saying that the scripture referred to actually is interpreted that all sinners die a death of separation from God. Not, however, they did not say that was not what they support, only that there are many interpretations i would seem to leave room for this death to Gays one.

Scott Esk, a Republican Tea Party candidate in Oklahoma, posted on Facebook,

 “I think we would be totally in the right to do it (execute Gays for being Gay), I’m largely libertarian, but ignoring as a nation things that are worthy of death is very remiss.”

When pressed, Esk added:

“I never said I would author legislation to put homosexuals to death, but I didn’t have a problem with it.”

Matt McLaughlin I an attorney from Huntington Beach who spent $200 to propose a ballot measure, the “Sodomite Suppression Act”, that authorizes the killing of Gays and Lesbians by “bullets to the head,” or “any other convenient method.”

And this year the Columbus, Ohio, Police had to investigate threats to the Columbus Pride Parade and Festival. is set to take place this weekend in with the parade taking place through the city on Saturday.

Organizers received a homophobic threat stating,

 “I hope this event turns out like the Boston Marathon a few year’s [sic] back. All fag’s should be killed or at least relocated.”

After the Pulse shooting, a preacher in Northern California, Pastor Roger Jimenez from Verity Baptist Church delivered an sermon praising the brutal massacre in which he told his congregation they “shouldn’t be mourning the death of 50

“People say, like: ‘Well, aren’t you sad that 50 sodomites died? Here’s the problem with that. It’s like the equivalent of asking me — what if you asked me: ​’Hey, are you sad that 50 pedophiles were killed today?”

But, he didn’t stop there.

”The tragedy is that more of them didn’t die. The tragedy is — I’m kind of upset that he didn’t finish the job!”

While running for president, Ben Carson even said that to force a Christian baker to make a wedding cake for a gay couple “is really not all that smart because [the baker] might put poison in that cake.”

I do not condone the shooting of Representative Scalise, but he played into deliberate misrepresentations of Gay people and their desire to form long lasting commitments with the one they love when he ,authored constitutional amendment to ban marriage equality. When in June 2008 he wanted to amend Constitution to define traditional marriage, and in 2013 to protect anti-same-sex marriage opinions as free speech no matter how false, bizarre, and exaggerated. He wanted to give unfettered power for people to speak without any regulation or calls to correct falsehoods. (Sep 2013). He also wanted the individual states to be able to deny citizens the universal rights the Constitution guarantees all citizens.

His proposal stated,

Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That the following article is proposed as an amendment to the Constitution of the United States, which shall be valid to all intents and purposes as part of the Constitution when ratified by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years after the date of its submission by the Congress:

Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.

Ted Cruz supported him by stating,”

“I support traditional marriage. The federal government has tried to re-define marriage, and to undermine the constitutional authority of each state to define marriage consistent with the values of its citizens. The Obama Administration should not be trying to force gay marriage on all 50 states.”

And now after the shooting, and ignoring such hate speech as exampled above, and with many examples of where hate speech was put into action by those speaking them and those who assumed they have permission to act, knowing now that what the result of it can be, they want their victims to just shut-up, without apology for damage both direct and indirect, or resolve to help undo or prevent any damage past, present, or future.

Be the better people.

Forgiveness comes through confession and then repentance, quite often in the form of actions to offset the damage done or restitution.

At least apologize and state that this will end.

 

 

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Although this story is about my experience, I am telling it in the third person because, having been raised Boston Irish Catholic with a heavy religious chapter in my life, the cultural residual guilt gene might have me attempt a false humility that will not serve the story well.

During the District Court trial where evidence was not required to be filtered through the Oklahoma City Public Schools administrators’ attorney before it could be presented to the school board to support the teacher’s dismissal, those who had been so sure that they had done the right thing at the dismissal hearing, had to have begun to realize that they might have voted differently had they been allowed to see all the evidence that could have been presented.

They had to have begun to see that they had been used for certain people’s personal agendas, and that their decision was based on a false premise and the false evidence used to support it.

The school district’s dismissal hearing process had been designed to arrive at an undisputed and predetermined conclusion after which teachers, apparently embarrassed or seeing no hope, went away quietly into the sunset.  During a dismissal hearing, teachers could not speak in their own defense, nor could they answer questions, even direct ones, and they were not permitted to clarify any confusion that might arise from material presented or situations described. If they were represented by an attorney or a union representative, only that person could speak, but had to do so without any input from the teacher as the teacher is not allowed to make any comments to or speak with the representative during the hearing. Violations of the procedure would produce an instant loss.

Any evidence that teachers may want to present in their defense had to be first handed over to the administrator’s attorney who then determined which evidence he or she would allow. This decision was by design so it would be unilateral and devoid of a method for appeal.

This way, administrators were free to say whatever they so chose and could present whatever filtered evidence they desired without having to defend either.

The hearing was divided into three parts. The first was where those who recommended a teacher be dismissed would present its charges and its evidence, during which they could not be questioned. The second part was the only time those representing the teacher could speak, present the evidence that the administrators’ attorney had seen fit to allow, and refute any charges made in the first part. The third part was given to the administrators, again, to present any further charges and evidence, but as there was no fourth part, and as no questions from the teacher’s representative were allowed, any further charges and evidence brought up during that time obviously went unchallenged.

Knowing this, toward the end of this particular dismissal hearing one member of the School Board shot a series of rapid fire questions that he knew the teacher was not allowed to answer, and then, because this was a highly publicized case and the media spoke to him after the hearing, claimed the teacher’s not having answered any of his questions was undeniable proof that, having no answers to refute the accusations put forth in the form of those questions, he just had to be guilty as charged.

But, there was more at stake in this situation than just the career of a teacher because in this case, centered as it was on the teacher’s advocacy of GLBT students, a lot more than a job could be lost.

The teacher filed for a Trial de Novo before a District Judge in District Court.

When this case went before a District Judge to prove the dismissal was a wrongful one, and that the vote for dismissal had violated both the law and the district’s own procedures, ignoring as it did that the burden of proof was on the part of the administrators to prove their case and not on the silenced teacher to disprove it, and that a deciding vote was cast by a board member who claimed that as neither side had presented a strong case, she was required to vote for dismissal which was a clear violation of law and procedure, the school administrators and their lawyer did not have any control over the proceedings or of any evidence, testimony, or witnesses for the teacher.

What was introduced to the process in the Trial De Novo was that the administrators’ words were not enough, and that unlike in the cases when teachers just went away quietly because of a Board vote to dismiss, this time administrators had to defend and prove their accusations, and without controlling what evidence could be presented, even their witnesses, assuming they would be merely repeating testimony and giving assessments based on what they had already seen, would have to now deal with what they should have seen before, but were denied, and might be embarrassed by earlier statements

It became obvious that the superintendent’s recommendation for dismissal which was based on false reporting by the administrators under him had been wrong.

As the charges of ineffective teaching, lack of following some superfluous requirements, and lack of knowledge of subject matter rapidly collapsed, it was becoming clear that the basis of the dismissal recommendation had to be something other than the teacher’s performance and adherence to good practice.

It was becoming all too obvious that as he had been making people uncomfortable with his advocacy for GLBT students in the district because of their fears that doing the right thing by the students would affect them politically, and certain administrators having bet on the wrong horses for personal gain, a practice of theirs that was becoming increasingly difficult to sustain and justify, the removal of the messenger and, therefore, the death of the message was in their best self serving interest.

The administration could not justify its action.

The judge ruled in the teacher’s favor.

After the ruling when the teacher should have been simply reinstated to the position he last held and at the school where he held it, the opinion of the administrators was that this would be embarrassing for them. So, claiming it would have been bad for morale, obviously theirs and not that of the faculty or students, they endeavored to avoid doing as the court had ordered, assuming that as they had supreme unquestionable power within the district, they had that same power over the court.

Although the teacher was ordered reinstated by an Oklahoma County district judge, the majority of the board voted to ignore the order choosing, instead, to have the teacher stay home without pay. They based their decision not to reinstate on a claim that they believed the Court order had been only a suggested action, and that, although the law clearly stated that if the teacher had lost and appealed the ruling, the teacher would not receive any salary during the length of the appeal process, they further decided that this law also held that if the district had lost the court case, as it did, and if it filed an appeal, the prohibition of salary was equally applicable.

The district was seeking to continue punishing the teacher in spite of his winning, and controlling his life on an ongoing basis by denying him a living wage.

Clearly, as he had not gone away after the dismissal hearing, as was expected, and the way it usually went, perhaps, making his life miserable could attain that goal as he would have to go somewhere else for employment.

Reappearing before a judge angered that it was ignoring her decision, the district, threatened with the arrest of a Board member a day for contempt of court unless or until they immediately did as the court had directed, bowed to that threat and allowed the teacher back into the classroom.

The district could not accept the loss, first because they simply did not like to lose, and secondly because the contrast between the outcome of the process  of dismissing a teacher being so easy with their procedure and the results when they did not have total control over the process could possibly expose how biased, unfair, and unprofessional the dismissal process was and that many teachers who went through it had been dismissed less for their educational ineffectiveness and more because of the personal and political agendas of individual administrators.

The court case cost the tax payers money while the teacher’s representation came through his Union which would be reimbursed court costs and would, therefore, break even.

The teacher offered a simple money saving compromise that would save tax payers any further expenses. As he had prevailed in the case he was under no obligation to offer any compromise, but could, instead, have insisted on a strict adherence to the court ruling and the Union contract, but chose to offer a compromise that would be an inconvenience to him but an advantage to tax payers and students.

Rather than insist he be returned to the position he had held and at the school where he had held it, and have that directed by the court and supported further by Union actions, he offered that he would accept any placement no matter how disadvantageous if the board chose not to appeal the court’s ruling and added the words “sexual orientation” to all applicable policies especially those published in the Student/Parent Handbook.

The board decided that had they accepted the compromise it would have been too much of a win for the teacher, and even if they ignored most of it and did add GLBT student protection for their own benefit, as opposed what was best for the students, doing so too soon after the teacher’s prevailing in the District Court would connect it to his win and their loss, and that would have been bad for their image.

And so, the addition of language was put off indefinitely

The compromise rejected.

An appeal was filed.

Although those on the board with a legal background and training opposed an appeal, the board voted in favor of one. As it would turn out, rather than re-litigate the same case before the appellate court, the school district attempted to present a new case with new charges gathering new evidence for that purpose when they were supposed to present the original case before fresh eyes.

They lost the appeal before it even made it into court.
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While this was going on, The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, also known as the Matthew Shepard Act, was passed on October 22, 2009. The Act expanded the 1969 federal hate crimes law to include sexual orientation.

This obviously could result in any number of students filing charges against the district if they experienced injurious harassment whether that injury were physical or emotional, and, in light of the 12 years of information presented to the board in public meetings in both packets of reports and oral presentations by members of the Oklahoma City community, and news media coverage, along with the advice that “if you do not want to protect these kids for the right reasons, do it for the wrong one, avoiding future litigation, as what is important is the protection, not how it came about”, any blissful ignorance they assumed they could claim as a defense in spite of reality was definitely ripped away with this new law.

Certainly if their defense was that they did not act to protect a student out of innocent ignorance, history could show that they did not act out of crass and willful neglect.

The lawyer on the Board, who was strongest in his support of the teacher’s dismissal and who had spoken so freely to the media about the certainty of his vote, and had been the one with the rapid fire questions, had been called to testify in court, and he based his initial testimony on the controlled evidence presented by the administration only to see at the trial how flawed the process was when he saw the evidence he should have seen originally but was denied it because of the district process. He began to see he had been wrong, and recognized the new law’s impact.

He saw that the inclusive language needed to be added, but that it had to be introduced as if it were coming from the board and no other source.

As if no documents had ever been given to them, and ignoring the multiple times people had spoken in public meetings to the board presenting facts, figures, names of places which had been sued by students and the cost to school districts because of that, this board member explained to the other members of the board, the press, and people in the audience at a public meeting in December 2009 that over the previous weekend he had been aimlessly surfing the web and discovered information about the need to protect GLBT students and the legal reasons to do so.

He began presenting the evidence he had come across, which was actually his going over all the evidence and reports he and the other Board members had been given long before his weekend of discovery.

On December 14, 2009, this Board member, after introducing a motion to add the words “sexual orientation” and ”gender identity” to the district’s policies on bullying, harassment, and nondiscrimination stated,

“This is an opportunity for us to get a little bit ahead of the curve, not very far I’ll admit. You cannot live in central Oklahoma and not admit that there is a tendency to discriminate against Gay and Lesbian individuals. You’d have to have your head in the sand not to admit it.”

Regarding a vote on his motion he further stated,

 “I’ll die before I vote no.”

The district’s own on staff legal advisor who had been left out of every step of the dismissal proceedings, the court case, and the discussion on an appeal, and who had supported the inclusive language for most of the 12 year battle added,

 “Courts have begun to hold school districts that fail to protect students from discrimination liable for violating constitutional rights”.

Although it was an obvious attempt at feigned innocence and sudden desire to do the right thing, it clearly illustrated that that member of the board and perhaps many others had consistently ignored information beneficial to the students, and not just the GLBT ones who could be harmed, but the naive students who attacked them assuming it was acceptable behavior, but had held these kids as so inconsequential that necessary information about them could be so easily ignored. Needless to say, although I am obviously saying it, his tactic might have impressed the few people who were new to things, but it certainly did not fool the media and most of the people in the auditorium that night, many of whom had come that night thinking they would have to once more speak to the board about inclusive language.

The vote was 5 to 2 with one member voting “no” because she had a fear that the district would end up protecting all students,

 “What do we do with other groups that don’t fit into these classifications? Are we going to create a database and continue to expand this policy?”

The other “no” vote was from a board member who ran a “Jesus-friendly” financial firm that marketed itself to Christians, and who had attended a Leadership Conclave for far right extremist groups, patriot pastors, and Constitutionalist lawmakers.

Although it took 12 years, at least half a dozen superintendents (There were 6 in a nine year period which should have indicated a systemic problem), changes in School Board members, a bevy of reprimands, a court case prompted by actions that resulted from some opposition, multiple appearances before the Board by many people, at least one connected death, possibly two, some rather strange behavior on the part of administrators, including at least two Lesbians maneuvering for promotions, and some of the most far fetch arguments in opposition, finally what the Board had been told had sunk in. Even though they now saw they were ahead of the curve, it was a position the Oklahoma City Public Schools District could have been in for many years already.

But it had finally happened.

This is the language that appeared in the Student/Parent Handbook for the 2010-11 academic year:

Page 14: STUDENT RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES: “Every student has the right to conditions favorable to learning. Students have the right to pursue an education free from discrimination based on race, sex, creed, color, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, marital status, disability, or for any other reason”.

Page 15: BULLYING/ HARASSMENT/ DISCRIMINATION: “Any student or groups of students who have been the victim of sexual harassment or harassment based on race, sex, creed, color, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, marital status, disability, or for any other reason, will immediately report the incident to the principal”.

“The district does not discriminate on the basis of of race, sex, creed, color, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, marital status, disability, or for any other reason in providing access to any services, programs, or activities”.

“Additionally, the district does not tolerate harassment based upon on race, sex, creed, color, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, marital status, disability, or for any other reason”

Page 43: STUDENT CODE OF CONDUCT:
(In the section labeled “Notes” after the columns on Category, Definition, Action Level.)
“Assessment mandatory NOTE: Harassment that is directed toward a student because of that person’s race, sex, creed, color, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, marital status, or disability is a specific offense of harassment for which heightened disciplinary action is appropriate .”

Eight years later, 2017, when the Oklahoma City Public Schools Board of Education passed a resolution vowing unwavering support for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer students and staff  in acknowledgement of June being Pride Month, this inclusivity was reaffirmed by including in the resolution:

“Whereas, it is the policy of the Board that OKCPS shall not discriminate on the bases of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, age religion, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, genetic information, alienage, veteran, parental, family, and marital status; and

Whereas, the Board believes that all OKCPS students have the right to participate fully in classroom instruction, and their rights shall not be abridged or impaired because of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, age religion, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, genetic information, alienage, veteran, parental, family, and marital status or for any reason not related to individual capability”

This is what the district had opposed up to eight years ago, the opposition to which was supported by many administrators because of personal, religious, and political beliefs, with that opposition being the reason to attempt to rid them of that troublesome teacher.

And one additional piece of information that will illustrate how slowly grind the wheels: the initial request for professional development sessions for teachers about the existence and needs of GLBT students in the Oklahoma City Public Schools district was submitted on March 11, 1997, 12 years before the addition of inclusive language and a full 20 years before this proclamation.

And, lest people say this is all a contrived fiction, I have kept every hard copy and computer generated document, along with 14 years of related emails to and from the principle players.

Get a clue.

It was never just harmful rhetoric.

People were getting hurt, and it was accepted as a political tool.
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Now some have seen its effect hit home and criticize the words of others without any self-examination.

 

 

(included in this blog are cartoons done during the advocacy  for inclusive language in the referenced policies that were based on excuses put forth to avoid doing the right thing)

 

 

The reasons for Pride come in various forms and at various times.

In 1997, a simple request to the administration of the Oklahoma City Public Schools for teacher professional development sessions on the existence and needs of GLBT students in their classrooms, similar to what was done for the Asian, Black, Latino, and other groups to which students belonged, was rejected because, regardless how important that might be, “local norms will not allow it”. That was code for supporting bigotry, as the local norms referred to were those supported by politicians, the local newspaper, and the all controlling Baptist Church.

Over the next several years meetings were held with administrators, after having been initially refused, that resulted in the formation of a committee to review the Oklahoma City Public School District’s policies on bullying, harassment, and nondiscrimination which some hoped would result in the addition of the words “sexual orientation” so that there would be no doubt that Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender students were included in those policies and their protection and school experience would not be controlled by the personal religious and political beliefs of individual teachers and administrators.

That committee was close to the inclusive language, but an intra-administrative tiff resulted in that committee’s meetings being postponed indefinitely which, as it was to turn out as predicted, was to be never.

The quest for those inclusive words was not abandoned, and for the next several years, 12 in total, that inclusion was sought to various degrees of acceptance by people going to school board meetings on a regular basis to present facts and figures to educate the school district of the importance of those words.

Finally in December 2009, as a result of persistence, and some drama along the way, the GLBT Community’s request and the importance of inclusion was recognized when the words “Sexual orientation and “gender identity” were finally added to the Oklahoma City Public Schools policies on bullying, harassment, an nondiscrimination.

The inclusion of “gender identity” put the school district at the forefront of student protection as very few school districts throughout the country had yet to include it.

As with all things, there is growth. And part of that process is to realize that the gates of hell did not open to consume the school district and the greater city in which it operated, and the imagined unending filings of law suits was a fantasy and excuse for immobility.

Quite surprisingly, I am sure, those who had originally opposed inclusion and may have reluctantly allowed it have been seeing the rest of the country catching up.

Proof of that positive growth came, when on this past June 12, 2017, the Oklahoma City Public Schools Board of Education passed a resolution vowing unwavering support for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer students and staff making it one of only five school districts in the country to do so.
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Chairperson Paula Lewis has stated,

“The resolution is just a start for our district of recognizing that we are a diverse district and that we are proud of everybody in our district whether it be students or teachers.”

and

“I’d like to get an overarching policy that says we as a district recognize not just our nondiscrimination, but a true policy that says we recognize all these groups and they’re safe to work here and they are safe to go to school here.”

These are the very sentiments expressed from 1997 to 2009 by those advocating for inclusive language.

Carrie Jacobs another Board member explained her support of the resolution.

“It sends the message that the district is for all kids. It says that we see you and we are grateful that you are here. We value your contributions.”

This has become a good Pride Month for me.

And lest they are forgotten, there were a number of people, besides myself, who throughout those long years went to many board meetings, spoke out when it as needed, and helped in the advocacy in any way they could.

Recent events are easy to remember, and can appear to have come out of the blue, but the Community should thank these people:

Rob Abiera, Jim Nimmo, Bob Nichols, Mike (Skye) Camfield, Eddie Kromer, Paul Bashline, Rhonda Rudd and Jayshree, Karen Parsons, Jean Pennycuff, all the guys at Tramps, still here and gone, Nathaniel Batchelder and his Peace House, Rey Jones, a man who wanted justice for everyone, Jim Prock, Victor Gorin, Reverends Scott Jones and Jenalu Johnston, and Paula Schonauer. .

 

 

 

 

 

Over the weekend, as part of my Pride Month plans I attended a nearby Equality March for Unity and Pride whose purpose was to mobilize the LGBTQ+ communities, our loved ones, and our allies in the fight to affirm and protect our rights, our safety, and our full humanity. It was to give voice to our concerns, and to support, uplift, and bring attention to those in our communities who are targeted due to immigration status, ethnicity, religion, skin color, gender, and disability.

The organizers also stated that the gathering was to affirm and celebrate that we are a mix of diverse communities, and that a lack of unity has caused many of our needs to be neglected or ignored. They hoped to learn from prior mistakes and come together through common belief in inalienable human rights and dignity for all with a particular focus on those who have been actively silenced and neglected.

However, there was an underlying thread of irony woven throughout the event.

Speaker after speaker got up rousing the crowd to be proud of the progress made within the community since the Stonewall Rebellion of 1969.

They spoke of the scourge of the initial AIDS days and recent attempts to curtail addressing it, the legacy of the Stonewall rebellion, and the years before Marriage Equality.

But the irony was that not one of the speakers was alive back in the days of which they spoke, and if they had been alive, they would have been too young to have been aware of those days in any meaningful way, while in the crowd there were people who were.

There was not one senior member of the GLBT community who spoke and could have brought a personal perspective.

Those who spoke of Stonewall romanticized it giving into the mythologizing of the event, assigning the instigation of the riot to those with whom they identified. While those who were actually there cannot point to any one individual as the person who threw the first rock, or even if a thrown rock or brick had actually started the riot as opposed to any thrown rock being simply part of what was happening  much as with the use of the parking meter ripped out of the sidewalk as a battering ram against the bolted shut door of the Stonewall Inn. There is no recollection of the crowd on the street standing  waiting for some single sign before beginning acting out their anger toward this one too many bit of oppression.

But the story persists and is modify depending on the speaker or the crowd being addressed.

For a number of years it was claimed that it all began when a young Lesbian threw the first punch at a police officer, but this has now become it having begun with a rock thrown by a Transgender person of Color, and even this wavers between it having been an African American or a Latinx.

All that participants and witnesses can attest to and have is that something got it all going, but what that was is unclear. Each time a new instigator is chosen, the real nameless,  anonymous person is further erased from the history as is the spontaneous act of a group

A myth is created to address a need.

Marsha Johnson was one of many Trans people, and the Trans people were one group of the many who were there, and who could just as easily claim the position of instigator. She was prominent because she took the action of pulling people out of the police wagon while the riot was happening, but that does not equal credit for having thrown any rocks.

They credit Stormy for a role that does not jibe with the role witnessed by many participants and eye witnesses. And for most of the first night of the riot, the drag queen given most of the leadership credit was among the first group of people to be arrested and brought to the Station of the 6^th Precinct where he spent the night in a cell. Why he was singled for arrest is a much more important story than the myth, but even that history is ignored,

There were many active street kids who were the main players, but speakers at pride events have frozen them in time and ignore they have grown old and in the intervening years they had more work to do and grew old and weary doing it.

There are very few left, so their accounts should be heard before they are gone instead of the story passed on from person to person like that game of Telephone Line where the final person receives a message that is only remotely related to what the first person in line told the second.

They are in the 60s now, heading toward their 70s, and can be so easily overlooked because of their years.

Even Marsha Johnson is frozen into her role at Stonewall with no acknowledgement of what she had done after until her untimely death under suspicious circumstances in 1992.

A true admirer would include that as it is important to who she was and what was done after that weekend in June of 1969.

But myths like to freeze people into one major moment.

Those who spoke on AIDS were children in the first 8 years of the 80s and, although they may be able to recount what they have learned those times were all about to a crowd appreciative of what they are hearing, but there were people in the crowd who were there and had dealt with it who could have told of experiences like being denied medical care, losing jobs and housing, and being denied any visitations once their loved one entered the hospital and were often not told the person had died nor were they allowed at the funeral.

They could have told of the hurt of knowing the person they loved was unnecessarily dying alone, and there would never be that all important final good-bye and that needed final caress.

This, this could have brought home the need to be vigilant of what negative plans politicians have when it comes to AIDS funding for research and support.
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When history was spoken of, the only people spoken of were dead people, people who had died of old age, murder, or the results of having been attacked. Not mentioned, even though they were right there in the crowd, were those who stayed alive and continued to fight and are still fighting.

If the younger people are to really learn they should hear from the senior GLBT people who lived through what these kids do not want to live through, and shouldn’t have to.

They need to know that as much as they bemoan oppression, it had been really worse in the past, and the old guys could tell them that, not from an intellectual historical point of view but an experiential one. They need to learn what it was actually like so that they can be as ready as necessary to prevent a return.

They do not need the surprise of things being worse than what someone who read a book might be able to tell them.

Who knows better than those who actually live it what conditions will be like if the Community does not stay vigilant and the present administration brings back the old days?

While those who spoke at the rally can imagine, those at the rally who went unacknowledged could describe the reality in which they had lived and the effort and sweat it took to change things.

We might compliment someone who loses 100 pounds, but we cannot know what it took for them to lose it if we don’t ask, and don’t allow them the chance to tell us.

There was mention in passing of the repeal of Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell, but no one spoke who had been affected by it and the time before that flawed compromise. Yet, they were in the crowd.

Understandably the shooting at the Pulse night club, being as it was just a year before this event, and to the majority in attendance it was the worst attack on a GLBT safe place, and to an extent presumably unique because of its being so recent. Meanwhile some on the grass, while not wanting to minimize that horror were very aware of the arson attack on the UpStairs Lounge that took place on June 24, 1973 in New Orleans, where Thirty-two people died as a result of fire or smoke inhalation. The reaction to the Pulse attack ranged from respectful horror to at least one political candidate using it for an attempt to have the GLBT Community throw its support toward his extreme and political Islamophobia. In the case of the UpStairs Lounge the reaction included jokes on talk radio about the patrons, little coverage in the media, no mention of it by the local government, and a weak and easily dismissed investigation on the part of law enforcement..

It happened on an early Gay Pride weekend within four years of the Stonewall Rebellion, and yet people were not cowered, but instead kept up the fight for equality.

There was talk against White Privilege that in itself exhibited a form of discriminatory privilege, as, when naming the various groups of people present at the Stonewall Rebellion there was an obvious omission of the presence of White Gay Males, as if it was important to the cause to leave them out because they were guilty by association, somehow, with those who oppressed the GLBT Community.

And while some speakers decried “Privilege” they described the progress and state of the community within their own narrow experience, listing all the positive changes and what needed to be defended, while seemingly turning a blind eye to the fact that in a large area of the country members of the GLBT Community still face the conditions the old guys sitting on the lawn had experienced even here on the Eat Coast many years ago.

Horrors like that which happened to Matthew Shepherd are well known because they are so out of line with the experiences of the modern GLBT Community in privileged places, while the burning out of a Gay man’s eyes with cigarettes before he was placed alive on a pile  of burning tires,  a crime that received a very mild punishment in relation to its severity because the defendant claimed that in spite of his picking up the victim in a Gay bar, he panicked when sitting at home and the Gay man came on to him. His defense was, and his punishment hinged on the use of Gay Panic, which allows someone to react with any, even the most extreme degree action, if they feel a Gay man was hitting on them.

Yes, in some places that is still a thing.

I was disturbed by the string of limited knowledge that was passed on as being informed.

The most ignored resource in the GLBT community are the seniors with the lived histories that the younger generation is repeatedly insulated from in the name of romanticized history and mythology.

I was also disturbed that an event that was to address the importance of supporting the marginalized, was marginalizing the Community’s senior members.

People seemed unconscious of the fact that sitting on the lawn in front of the speakers was a resource that was not tapped, but ignored.

It is one thing to pass on history as you heard it, another to pass it on because you lived it.

By the time I left I came to realize I was no longer a part of the Stonewall story and that of the years of battling after because I was a White Gay Man, and I was never mentioned by a speaker, although other groups were included in the litany of members of the community and the only mention of White men was as the privileged oppressor.

I was marginalized because my story and the story of people like me were told to us by those who have heard about them while we were kept silent because, I have to assume, we don’t have famous names, don’t possess the “cute factor”, are assumed to be dead.

This too shall pass.

 

I’m sure we have all received this post from someone on our Facebook friends list on more than one occasion:

“I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!  MY GENERATION GREW UP RECITING THIS EVERY MORNING IN SCHOOL WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART.  THEY NO LONGER DO THAT FOR FEAR OF OFFENDING SOMEONE.  LET’S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL RE-POST.”

The ones who then gleefully post this to show their uber-patriotism, also seem to be in a rush to show how uninformed thy are.

Of the 50 states and territories, 43 require the daily recitation of the pledge at the beginning of each school day while  the rest either leave it up to local school districts to decide, or just don’t deal with it.

The states, territories, and possessions that have unambiguous requirement for recitation are:

Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Kansas, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakotan, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

Those with qualified regulations that favor recitation of the Pledge are:
Colorado: “Each school district shall provide an opportunity each school day for willing students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Georgia: Student be “afforded the opportunity” to recite the Pledge each day.

Colorado: “Each school district shall provide an opportunity each school day for willing students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Georgia: Student shall be “afforded the opportunity” to recite the Pledge each day.

Indiana: “The governing body of each school corporation shall provide a daily opportunity for students of the school corporation to voluntarily recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Alabama: “The State Board of Education shall afford all students opportunity each school day to voluntarily recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the United States Flag.”

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Louisiana: “Each parish and city school board in the state shall also permit the proper authorities of each school to allow the opportunity for group recitation of the ‘Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag.’

Missouri: The Pledge of Allegiance shall be recited at least once a week.

New Hampshire: Each school must authorize a period of time during the school day for voluntarily reciting the Pledge.

New York: The relevant statute requires an unelaborated daily recitation of the Pledge. students in New York have the right not to participate in reciting the Pledge,

North Carolina: Local school boards are urged to adopt policies to promote the recitation of the Pledge.

North Dakota: A student may not be required to recite the Pledge of Allegiance,

Ohio: Each local school district is to decide.

and

Texas: The board of trustees for each school district is to make the decision.

Those that have nothing and don’t deal with it one way or the other:

District of Columbia, Hawaii, Iowa, Maine, Michigan, Nebraska, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Vermont, Virgin Islands, and Wyoming.

TRUMP: When he asks your for allegiance, or you lose your job.

So before you mindlessly pass on this meaningless post, remember which state you live in, and kindly explain, in light of the above, why an when anyone getting offended has stopped the practice.

After I moved to the West Coast I joined the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angles.

It was in the mid-eighties, and at the height of the AIDS Epidemic, and in the time before the Reagan administration abandoned the misguided idea that AIDS was God’s way of punishing the Gay Community not for who we actually were, but because of what the religious right, Reagan’s base, wanted people to believe we were.

The very people who extolled the love of one person for another, who promoted the importance of relationships, the ones who advertised their relationships in pictures, posing as couples in the media, having children and claiming that was a sign of their love which evidenced the importance of sex as an expression of love, were denying the same to the Gay community whose members had to find ways of addressing their need to express their love for someone without being mistreated for it.

These were, and continue to be, those who claim Gay people cannot form lasting relationships while doing everything possible to prevent them.

Being new to the chorus, and not having known any other members until I joined, I had neither the bonds that the more senior members had with each other, nor those they had with others in the wider Community.

Many had lost loved ones and close friends to AIDS, and ,when I shared time with them, were helplessly watching more of the people in their lives being taken, and knowing, sadly, in the ensuing years that many of them would be part of that number. A year or so after I left that chorus to join one closer to where I lived in Long Beach, I was aware when attending one of the Los Angeles Chorus’s concerts that I knew very few of the members. The ones I knew, many at any rate, were gone.

They had been dealing with the deaths, the rejection of medical services, the actual proposal by conservative politicians and morbidly joyous conservative Christian leaders of being moved to internment camps to live out their last days, and they had not had a chance yet to grieve publicly or as a group without rejection and without judgment.

And so it was that on a particular Sunday  in the mid-eighties a memorial service was held at a church in Santa Monica to be attended by anyone who had experienced a loss and at which the chorus was to provide the music during the liturgy.

The liturgy as moving along smoothly, and then the chorus began the song by Dan Hill “Sometimes When We Touch”.

With the first singing of the song’s chorus,

“And sometimes when we touch/ The honesty’s too much/ And I have to close my eyes/ And hide/ I want to hold you till I die/ Till we both break down and cry/ I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides”,

and with the verse that led up to it being such a true description of the relationships of those who sat in the pews and those singing in the chorus who had lost someone close people began to quietly sob. With more people growing silent in the chorus it became impossible to continue.

The presiding clergyman, the Episcopal Bishop Malcolm Boyd, having the sense to do so, calmly announced that the liturgy would take a short break so that people, who had been denied such a moment, could openly grieve.

All of us in the church went outside into the church’s court yard.

Not knowing the members of the chorus beyond rehearsals and performances, I decided I would quietly move off from the group and not intrude on their grieving.

From a distance I saw some of the most masculine men I had ever met break down in tears, some hugging others to support them or to give them the hug society would not give them. I saw a grief deeper than I had ever seen even among family members who had experienced a loss. There were tears as people expressed their grief or exchanged remembrances.

As I walked around the corner of the church into another section of the courtyard I saw a lone elderly gentleman sitting quietly on a bench against a far wall. He was dressed as an older Gay man might with a hint of past fashion with a Greek sea captain’s hat on his head and a rather large, I thought almost too large, Turquoise medallion hanging from his neck. Recognizing he might be an “outsider” like me, I went over and sat next to him, quietly for a bit, until he made a comment about the scene we were witnessing.
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He spoke of the difficulty these men had experienced and would in the future. He spoke of his sadness that the political and religious leaders were using AIDS for political reasons. He mourned that just as progress was being made to accept the Gay Community, a disease came along to threaten it. He spoke as someone who knew so much and had experienced so much.

There was grief in his words and in his voice.

He then spoke of his hope in the future and his belief that this would be overcome, making the Community stronger, and that that strength would bring about the necessary changes.

I just sat listening as he just seemed to need someone to listen. He seemed content that someone had come over to sit with him.

It became clear from the movement of the people reentering the church that things were about to resume, and I rose to go back in. Not wanting to be an unnamed abstract, I turned and belatedly introduced myself.

“I’m Joe”. I said.

“Morris”, he said.

We shook hands, and I walked back inside, and as we began singing, this time making it through the song after the catharsis in the courtyard, I saw him come back into the church and sit in the back by himself, and old man grieving.

After the church services as we headed toward the parking lot, one of the long time members of the chorus ended up walking with me, and as we talked he mentioned he had seen me talking with Morris.

“You know Morris?”, I asked.

“Everyone does”, he replied. “That’s Morris Kight.

It turned out that the quiet man sitting alone, an old guy of no apparent consequence who had only hinted at having a history, and seemed dressed in an outdated outfit as if to remember past times, was THE Morris Kight the founder or co-founder of many Gay and Lesbian organizations, among them the Committee for Homosexual Freedom in the 1950s, which in October1969 was renamed the Gay Liberation Front in solidarity with New York City, the Gay Community Center in 1971, which later became the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center by the time I had gotten there, the Christopher Street West Gay Pride Parade in 1973, the Stonewall Democratic Club in 1975, and AIDS for AIDS in 1983.

I had heard of Barney’s Beanery in West Hollywood from people I had met in Long Beach, who told me never to eat there because it not only had a misspelled sign above the bar that said “Fagots Stay Out”, but also had printed up matchbook covers with the same saying, and here I had had a conversation with the man who, along with Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, and 100 activists, had protested outside the place, an action with which I was familiar.

This is the man with whom I spoke, that old guy sitting alone quietly on a church courtyard bench bringing no attention to himself.

A man with a history who could have been assumed to be just some old guy with retro taste in clothing wearing overstated jewelry, that old guy sitting alone at the far corner of the bar.

A man I could have ignored to my own loss.