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I
challenge any honest teacher to tell me I am incorrect.
We teachers have all sat in those student parent conferences about the student who, obviously, did not fall far from the ranting, unreasonable, and unhearing tree sitting beside them in the office, the parent.
It
could be an irate parent exercising some sort of patriotism peppered with a
my-friend-told-me-the-law-is defenses of, or objections to something with which
they may or may not agree, or a screed with Bible verses worthy of a sidewalk street
corner because the parent objects to their understanding of what is being
taught with no knowledge of what actually is.
I have had to deal with angry Southern Baptist ministers and their congregations demanding that the high school stop teaching the class promoting the “Homosexual Lifestyle” and fire the person teaching the class, that would be me, neither of which fit the facts.
Regardless of the semi-participatory circus you had had to sit through during which, along with all the other nonsense, there was always the attack on you as a professional as defined by them, and the personal one that questioned why you are a teacher in the first place, when the parent storms out having been, in their minds, the irrelevant victor, the principal, although not completely agreeing with the totally incorrect parent, gives some support by placing some nebulous blame on the teacher for creating an atmosphere where the student could have been triggered and, therefore, bore less guilt than the teacher who should know better.
Whether
it is a sidewalk, street corner screed of Bible verses because the parent
objects to their understanding of what is being taught with no knowledge of
what actually is
(I
have had to deal with angry Southern Baptist ministers and their congregations demanding
that the high school stop teaching the class promoting the “Homosexual
Lifestyle” and fire the person teaching the class, that would be me, neither of
which fit their “facts”)
Often it is a sidewalk, street corner screed of Bible verses because the parent objects to their understanding of what is being taught with no knowledge of what actually is
I have had to deal with angry Southern Baptist ministers and their congregations demanding that the high school stop teaching the class promoting the “Homosexual Lifestyle” and fire the person teaching the class, that would be me, neither of which fit the facts.
After a meeting where it was established that a student had not understood a joke I cracked in class and had taken offense only to find the joke funny in the meeting as she was paying attention unlike in class, regardless that all in attendance agreed it was clearly a matter of the student half-hearing something and assuming the rest and that should have been that, I received a written reprimand explaining that sometimes jokes are not understood by everyone, and those who do not understand a joke might feel diminished and less than the others in the room, and, therefore, their self-esteem could be wounded, and my not understanding that meant I was inefficient. I was forbidden to say anything funny in class or I would face a charge of willful dereliction of duty and insubordination, both of which could lead to a dismissal.
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Over an academic year, teachers have to continually sit in meetings a description of which is easily dismissed with the teacher being accused of embellishing the story for effect or painting a parent in a crazy light to deflect any amount of their guilt.
Well,
I’m here to let the public know that all those crazy people we have been seeing
on the news who go to school board meetings and rant about CRT, mask mandates,
testing of teachers, or any acceptance of the reality of Covid, are like flash
mobs. They show up once, put on their twisted performances, sometimes complete
with props, and then they go away. It is sudden, immediate, and, like the trump
Caravans heading for the Southern Border, show up on schedule.
During the school year, these are they who show up randomly and unannounced and put on individual performances like what is seen in those school board videos as they quote “street law”, their interpretation of law and school policy, what your obligations are as a “public servant” whose salary they pay, and why their child, an angel at home, would certainly not act the way they do at school, so the school is lying.
And,
thus is revealed another unknown behind the scenes part of teaching.
School boards are facing those parents openly now, parents they may have been denying exist when teachers mention them and, if even for one loud moment the public gets to see what exists, but goes unseen.
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History, for many, is what has happened in the distant past, but, in reality, is not really always all that far away.
It was 2001. In some places, like Massachusetts, New York, and California,
it was history, while in Oklahoma it was a current event.
It was the beginning of the Twenty-First Century and, along with
jet packs and flying cars, we were supposed to be at the point of humanity’s
maturity reflected in what we thought would be the dated progressive ideas on
Star Trek. It should have been a time when no student would feel unsafe at
school because they were harassed and bullied by students acting on
misinformation that could be dispelled with facts and an inclusive educational
environment.
I was sitting in the principal’s office as he denied that the
school gave advantages to Straight kids. He had just finished forbidding me
under pain of charges of insubordination leading to possible dismissal from
putting anything in my classroom that was identifiably Gay whether it was a
poster, book, or any information that might point out that something or someone
in the curriculum was Gay.
If Gay students wanted affirming and positive information, they
could go to places off campus, unlike the straight kids who could get
information on campus from teachers, the library, the internet, or the school
traditions. He had forbidden me from “advocating”, which at the time
meant making positive information available to Gay students and their friends
that countered the popular misconceptions while telling me I had become a
caricature. Unlike the Gay teachers who were not known to be Gay, I didn‘t know
how to behave and not force Gay on people. I was too open, and he wanted me to
know that some teachers, after all, did not like my openness, and some kids laughed
at me because I was Gay.
The good Gay teachers were the silent and unknown ones?
I felt he was attempting to shame me back into the closet.
He countered my pointing out that we had school activities that
promoted the “heterosexual model” by explaining that a Gay male could
always be Homecoming King, and a Lesbian could be the Queen, they would just look
like a heterosexual couple. He did not see that their participation meant they
had to look heterosexual and hide themselves or had to play the role of
straight kid to survive and be able to enter a contest where people would be
choosing a fantasy for either role while the reality hid. All the announcements
and procedures for nominating the candidates called for a girl for Queen and a
boy for King. I suggested that instead of being directed to choose a male and
female as candidate for Homecoming and Prom Royalty, the students, instead, be instructed
to pick a student for each. If the majority chose a heterosexual model, that
was their choice, a choice essentially eliminated by the very directions for
nominations. If they chose same sex royalty, perhaps that would reveal the
students’ attitudes do not follow the mindset of the powers that be.
The students would choose according to their tastes.
His explanation for why it was done the way it was, was simple and
dismissive of many of the students under his care and that of those who shared
his attitude. It was done that way because that was just how it was; just
the way the world was—Male and Female.
I tried to explain that, as he was heterosexual, he took things for
granted, whereas the Gay students were denied information and role models that
he didn‘t necessarily need, but they did. He continued to deny that we
regularly celebrated heterosexuality while closeting Gay information even as
the school promoted Homecoming and Prom Royalty as well as the annual Best
Couple contest. If a straight man had successfully impregnated a female teacher,
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routinely made to accommodate this condition. If I put up a Gay positive
poster, the poster came down or mysteriously disappeared, and I got reprimanded
because somehow sex was involved.
In one of his more annoying non-sequiturs, he compared the
“divisiveness” of my advocacy for Gay students to bringing pro-life
and pro-choice debates into the classroom.
The State Standards for the Conduct and Performance of Teachers in
Oklahoma stated,
“The teacher shall not on the basis of [among other
characteristics including]…..sexual orientation grant any advantage to any
student” .
If we had so many heterosexually modeled programs; if heterosexual
students could get affirming information on campus from the library, teachers,
and the school internet system, while the Gay students were told they needed to
go off campus for similarly relevant information for themselves; if students
could not access any Gay information from that same internet system because the
filter used by the district labeled anything Gay related as “sex”, “in poor
taste”, “sexual in nature”, or simply “of Gay and Lesbian interest”; and if
only one teacher out of eighty-six teachers at the school made any self-
affirming information available and was silenced for doing it either by a
reprimand or threat of termination, it would appear that the straight students
had an advantage because of their sexual orientation.
In light of this and the principal’s forbidding for the Gay
students what he took for granted for himself and those like him while holding
me to also give this advantage under what was clearly a threat to employment,
we were in violation of those standards. To my way of thinking I was clearly
being threatened continually for simply following the State Standards, and this
was confusing to someone who had continually been reprimanded for not following
policies.
The fact that this
meeting had taken place before any students had reported to school for the
year, or I had hung anything in the classroom to which I had been assigned made
it appear to be his warning shot across the bow.
This may have been an attitude universally held by many in charge
of school systems in the past, but it was only 20 years ago and, in this case,
would take 8 more years to right the wrong.
The lineal time-line equivalent of who-wore-it-better seems
to be whose-generation-had-it-worst?
My grandparents’ generation was born in the 19th
Century when child labor still existed and was yet to be outlawed. Lots of
children meant the better the chance your family would live on while in the
meantime there were plenty of children to help bring home the bacon from the
factories.
By the time they would have graduated from high school, not
a common thing with them, the world was plunged into a war like none other,
World War I, that was not limited to just the countries near each other, but
those all over the world. Because of the deaths during that war and the Flu
Epidemic that came toward the end of it, social structure was completely
different as old countries ceased to exist and new ones began, the traditional
forms of government could no longer function as they once had, countries
realigned themselves in odd ways, the generational transfer of power ended in
many places with the death during the wars of the next in line, and traditional
forms of government were peacefully or violently ended.
Using my father’s year of birth, 1920, makes for a nice
round number to use as a reference for his generation. By the time he was 10 and
his parents were happily building a family and what future they could imagine, the
world had been plunged into The Great Depression so that whatever new society was
constructed after the War to End All Wars collapsed. Added to this, in 1933,
the Dust Bowl in the Heartland ruined lives, plunged people into greater
poverty, and created the Great Migration toward the West in search of jobs
while Black people in the South moved North in hopes of better conditions.
By the time my father graduated from high school, more were
doing that in his generation, we entered a war that if the first one, the War
to End All War, had, indeed, been that, would never have happened.
After having survived the want of the Depression, his
generation faced the rationing of food and other commodities for the war
effort. Those who were not old enough to fight that war, did come of age for
the Korean War that came within years the Big One ending.
My generation came in at the end of one war in time for the
duration of another, and, because of the resulting Cold War, while we may be
shocked now that active shooter drills have become routine in schools, the
1950s kids had Duck and Cover drills that had us cowering under our desks to
avoid nuclear annihilation. It was Russia Vs. The U.S. Of A.
During those years, and growing louder with time, Black
citizens whose conditions were worse than the majority population began to
demand equality. If White GIs could get loans and buy homes through the GI Bill
after WWII, so should the Black soldiers that fought. However, with bank
policies, redlining, and Jim Crow laws they could not get the same things as their
White counterparts.
By the time I graduated from High school a president, his
brother, and MLK had been assassinated, and many of my peers were involuntarily
drafted to fight in a war in a foreign country no one had heard about before
the “conflict” in order to prevent the suspected Domino Effect of Communism.
As we approached our 18th birthday, a major
consideration for my peers was the possibility of being drafted or finding a
way not to have to fight in an old man’s war based on reasons that really did
not hold water. Turning 18 meant high school graduation for most boys but
registering for the draft for every boy. We could kill in the name of the
country but had no say in who was in charge.
Comparisons of the Vietnam War and the recently ended 20 Years
War in the Middle East are somewhat weak when the fact that the presentday army
is volunteer with enlistment being the choice of the individual knowing full
well they might have to fight in that war, while during the Vietnam War, there
was no choice. At 18 you got a diploma and a draft card.
As with my grandparents’ and parent’s generation we lost
friends and loved ones in a war, and many of those who did not die came home
maimed physically and mentally and would have to live with that for the east of
their lives.
Facing death before you turned 20 was not a desired
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Soon after this, AIDS broke out, and because it was assumed
that only Gay men got it, the virus went unchecked because it was erasing the
undesirables while, in reality, it was affecting the whole population- a fact
obscured by an initial jump to bigotry which answered a political and religious
fundraising thirst by connecting it only to Gays, drug addicts, and Haitians.
It was originally up to Gay people to deal with it and when the reality of
AIDS’s universality was discovered, the programs created by Gays in protecting
themselves from the disease while the government sat back buying the God’s
Punishment trope were exclusionary so that Gay people could not benefit from
the very treatments and protocols they had created.
Although not exactly the same, the treatment of Blacks and
Gays when it came to things like housing, loans, jobs, and medical treatment
had their convergences.
Black people theoretically got equal rights in the sixties
but had to deal with all the bigoted machinations of those who resented that,
and Gay people, when they finally got a modicum of equality, faced those same
games often from the same people and religious and political entities.
Unlike today, when Gay people can be themselves in public
and attend events or enter venues where being Gay is no secret and Straight
people are more welcoming, Gay people could be killed just for being Gay. The
shocking isolated attacks on Gay people these days, was a bit too routine in
the old ones.
By the time I entered my forties, there had been another rather
odd war in Iraq which took the lives of some people I had had in class and
whose future, the one I had prepared them for, was now cut short,
The Murrah building in Oklahoma City shook up the Heartland and
the days watching a hawk making lazy circles in the sky came to a crashing end,
and the horrors of terrorism were brought home.
The attack on the Twin Towers resulted in a thirst for war
with avenging a wrong the cover for the real reason we attacked a country that
really had nothing to do with the attack, and an adept application of jingoism
had the volunteer army filling up to make sure a war could be fought.
Many of the people of my father’s years lived into the 21st
Century and saw all that their parents had had a share in and saw what was
added to that in their own lives, their children’s and, perhaps, those of their
grandchildren. Did they have it worse for one moment in time or is it
accumulative? Is there an age at which, though still alive, members of one generation
cannot experience the realities of the world experienced by those in the right
age bracket?
Or is it that each generation has things to deal with, sometimes
good, sometimes bad, and this experience is added to through the life of each
of them.
Perhaps no generation has it worst or best. Perhaps it depends on how you handle it.
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To know the real, non-Hollywood, “this film based on actual events”, you know I heard someone say, “my friend told me” version of events”, read the books by people who were there, or those who researched the historical record and interviewed the ones still around at the time.
It is history months, so, put aside the Harlequin Romance books that are all feather boas and glitz, and read the history as it really was.
Sometimes depressing.
Sometimes embarrassing.
Sometimes diasappointing.
Sometimes seemingly hopeless.
Sometimes triumhpant.
But because of who we are, always fabulous.
READ HISTORY.
.
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