I know I may not be considered a true Progressive, but what one chooses to label me, or not, holds a candle to the sun as my actions support my progressive attitudes and history, and no label can erase that reality.

I have a hard time with people, whose words and actions had very specific negative results, apologizing in a generic statement that washes over the damage for which they are responsible.

Perhaps it is because I spent twelve years and gambled with my career studying and acting to nullify the effects that words had on young GLBT people, but I cannot simply shrug my shoulders when someone offers a blanket, boiler plate apology that, to me anyway, is all form, but no real substance.

I do not fault anyone who did not delve into the matter as deeply as I or others may have, so perhaps I should explain why I have reservations that have resulted in my not forgiving nor supporting a declared candidate regardless what label she is assigned and I am denied.

In her apology, Tulsi Gabbard stated,

“I want to apologize for statements that I have made in the past that have been very divisive and even disrespectful to those within the LGBT community. I know that those comments have been hurtful and I sincerely offer my apology to you and hope that you will accept it.”

This may sound like a great apology, but it is boiler plate.

The apology for such actions as she took and attitudes that she championed, as she offered it, shows it is based on the assumption that the only effect of her rhetoric was division and disrespect.

The disrespect turned into actions that had people lose jobs, homes, families, relationships, and lives.

It would have been more sincere and complete if she had apologized for the results of that disrespect and division her words and actions caused and sanctioned, and as she failed to include that, the apology falls short.

The apology I would prefer from Tulsi Gabbard and others who think a band-aid addresses a death?

“I want to apologize for statements that I have made in the past that have been very divisive and even disrespectful to those within the LGBT community.
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I would also like to sincerely apologize to those whose lives were ruined by conversion therapy and to those whose parents, following my pronouncements and actions, rejected them, often forcing them into the street to become victims of the suicide spiral and who may have eventually taken their own lives.

I want to apologize to those whose lives, lives that had bright futures and possibilities, were turned into negative existences because of the bullying they received from classmates and society at large because of the words I had said about them, lives that never saw their promise.

 I apologize to those whose lives were taken and to their loved ones who lost them because people acted on the sentiments I spread.

I apologize to those whose lives were ruined by their acting on my words and committed crimes against others and are paying the legal price.

I apologize to those who had been in loving relationships that were divided by my words and actions, and, because of the societal pressure they could not endure.

I apologize to those young people who, in seeking food and shelter after family rejection, had to traffic themselves on the street to find  places to stay for a night regardless of the danger, and whose lives were not able to be the ones of their choice but the result of necessity.

I know that those comments have been hurtful, and in some cases deadly, and I sincerely offer my apology to you and hope that you will accept it, yourselves, and in the name of those we have lost.”

The damage went beyond division and disrespect.

I can apologize for running the stop sign and totaling your car, but I fall short if I say nothing about the passenger I killed.

An apology should acknowledge the real damages done by the action, not skate over them with vague terms.