Although I have never met him, I know Kyle Rittenhouse. Most teachers do.

He is that kid in class who really needs to establish himself. He wants to be part of something, and the more popular or powerful that might be, the better. It might not be the best thing for the kid to do, but once he has decided on his direction, the only people in his mind who would stop him, or attempt to, are people who do not want him to triumph.

He is that kid who attempts to impress his peers with certain comments and opinions without realizing that no one believes him or accepts what he has to say or who is saying it. He is blind to the constant rejection of his attempts to matter, and this blindness does not set any limits. If I do something stupid, and realize that, I will modify my behavior, but, if I am blind to reality, I am encouraged to continue as I found my statement very impressive and only those trying to hold me back will have anything negative to say.

I would be molding reality to fit my narrative.

He is the kid who unofficially attaches himself to something like the football team where, over time, he has gone from the marginal shadow of observation through the stages of taking a presented opportunity to be seen doing something for the team, and the coaches, out of pity and through practice, slowly increase the menial things he does for the team until he is that kid, not really connected to the team who stands beside the team bench like he has a real reason to be there, and is known for being that kid.

While in his mind he is one of the team, in reality, he is the accidental mascot, a quiet charity case.

Although there is no real value to his “position” with the team, he revels in the accolades the team gets as if they also apply to him because, in his mind he is part of the team.

His convictions are fluid as he will mold them to fit the environment so that he will be accepted and is willing to do what it takes to get that acceptance. And they are malleable as they will change when needed to get the praise of those from whom he really needs it according to what he is willing to do for them if they make it look like he has some authority.

He becomes the patsy who the other, more aware kids, will have do their dirty work for them as he is more than willing to impress. and they avoid any consequences for their actions as they are done through him.

The simplest compliment becomes to him words of high praise and encouragement, and this need for recognition leads the kid to do more increasingly obvious actions for attention that ignore the real world consequences.

He is the kid that will attempt to get a copy of the test because some Big Man on Campus has expressed a desire for it and expresses admiration for anyone with the intestinal fortitude to address the need. Impressing the “important” people on campus blinds the kid from considering the consequences, and even if caught, will assume the acceptance of his bravery in those instances far outweighs the real consequences that he just does not recognize.

He becomes a stooge for those who benefit from his willingness to impress as they continue on unscathed, while he has negative marks on his school records that may affect him later.

Unfortunately, unlike the water boy in sports movies, he will never get real praise for his accomplishments but will get dumped the minute his usefulness ends or will be abandoned by his puppet masters when caught.  He will not see it that way.

He will forever live in the moments of his greatest acceptance by his peers, using this to build a self-esteem with sand for the foundation.

He will continue this behavior even after school, looking for those individuals and groups who will most likely accept him for that same usefulness.

He gravitates toward authority positions like the Police because the association grants his idea of himself and his importance some validity.

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In the case of Kyle Rittenhouse, he has reached the point where reality meets fantasy, but he is clinging to the fantasy that what he did in Kenosha was pure, just misunderstood.

His running around that night was eagerly done because authority figures gave him things to do, and it was them he had to impress. He needed to be seen and praised and this would feed into his self-esteem.

What many people do not understand about bullying, especially in the younger years, is that there are two victims.

The obvious victim is the kid with the bruises, the kid who stays apart from most, the kid we all saw in our own time whose victimization was to make the bully look impressive if even just in the bully’s own mind.

The unseen victim is the bully, the tough kid, the real man, the person who is a leader, the one we see as the giver not the receiver. What we do not see is that with this person not being made to pull it back a bit, he assumes his acts are acceptable everywhere and becomes that person as an adult who victimizes others, while coming ever closer to that point where his life becomes negative and without promise.

Jail, perhaps.

As a child, it might have been cute when Rittenhouse recognized his attraction to those things that would end with his crossing state lines with an illegal rifle to be part of something big, something he could tell his friends about after, something that would increase his stature in their eyes and more importantly his own. Without set limits, whatever he was going to do would be justified as a good thing because people liked or to him it seems they did .

There is no problem with his mother driving him to Kenosha to play medic as he claimed was his intent. The limit should have been set by her insistence that if he is being a medic, he leave the rifle in the car. She played the role of enabler when her son needed anything but.

And like the bully who was not given an option and sits in jail because of escalating offenses that reached an avoidable limit, regardless, if acquitted, found guilty, or gets a mistrial, this is one ruined individual and, rather than learn from this, Kyle Rittenhouse will see it as approval and encouragement, and he may ruin lives along the way, but he will certainly live a ruined life.

Teachers like me are old enough to have seen former students hitting retirement age in their various fields, and we know how some kids turned out. We have seen the fruition of the warning signs we saw with certain kids but went ignored either because of a false parental need to defend the child regardless of realities, boys will be boys, or devoted people should never be disciplined for their devotion regardless to what.

And if you are not a teacher or a hermit, there is that kid in the neighborhood who is that character that people are not sure to pity or avoid as just a disaster waiting to happen encouraged by bad parents and the influence of those who find his willingness to do bad things a benefit to them.

You know Kyle too.

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