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that was unexpected

Because of the type of high school I attended, we would have regularly scheduled Retreats, weekends of heavy prayer, learning how to be better people, and lots of self-reflection. Along with group and individual prayer and sermons, one of the exercises was to take a lined, elongated, index card of a particular size and, by listing things you intend to have accomplished at certain ages, make a Plan for Life.

In retrospect, there probably really was no belief that at the end of your life you would take out that card and verify that you had successfully followed the Plan unless you were the dullest of people. Rather, it was, most probably, more to send us on our way in life with at least a basic plan of what we would aim for, and, knowing that life has too many twists and turns to actually follow a plan, they wanted us to notice the difference and act accordingly to remain successful no matter what is thrown in the way.

Now I have reached an age when I can look back and see every moment at which a decision was made that led my life in the direction it took. I can see in hindsight, for example, each in a series of unrelated, major and minor, reasoned or foolish, mature and immature decisions that led me to stand at the exit of the parking lot at which I did my rollerblading and having to choose going right to a nearby bar for post workout beer, or to the left to get home to change and go buy a frying pan to lend to my ex who had called earlier to ask if I had one he could borrow for that evening’s dinner he was preparing for a date in case doing that favor might re-ignite a flame I wished had not gone out.

That was not to be.

Nothing in any plan written by me at that very moment would have included any of the events turning to the right set in motion that led me to the basement of society, then back up, and beyond.

It was a definite moment. The majority of what happened before had already gone so far from the Plan for Life, or, to be honest, any plan I may have made at any time, and what was to follow could not have been planned for in any stretch of the imagination.

Never got the boat, the cute, historic house in a nice ocean side town where I live with my other half, Me a cartoonist he a whatever it would have been, the vacation home, but life has been a ride that, looking back, had moments to set off any chain of infinite possibilities depending on turning right or turning left.

And the decision to turn to the right, regardless of what could have happened had I turned to the left, but now never will, was a monumental decision leading to others, not always with the best choices being made, and in retrospect I know what decision led to what, and how much control I had of my own future ,now past and how much was timing and opportunity.

Nothing is as it was supposed to be, and that is a good thing if even limited to just the people I have met and with whom I worked, marched, sang, acted, protested, mourned, celebrated, it turns out to have been and will most likely continue to be an interesting trip.

Sometimes, the surprises, although initially seeming to be walls, simply have you choose a different route and all that comes after.

I first read this poem in high school, and it grabbed me. My future was open and there were roads ahead and choices.

I may be physically back in my home state, close to where I grew up, but who is actually here is not the one who chose a road some 40 years ago, but who has come from all the experiences and people met in those years.

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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

                  Robert Frost

Vote by mail

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The loooong game

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They need to be more honest with themselves

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Trump’s obsession with the T

Because Gay men and Oral sex were somehow linked in the minds of many, when recruits reported for service during World War II  doctors used tongue depressors inserted into their throats to trigger their gag reflexes based on the assumption that men who performed fellatio wouldn’t gag. There was even an assumption that because “true homosexuals” were so oral they felt pleasure in their mouth while their penises remained flaccid during sex, so doctors asked suspected homosexuals how they felt when engaged in oral sex. Gay men were assumed to have more estrogen and less androgen than straight men so for a while Hormone tests were given, but these became too costly, so, conveniently they ended.

Body shape, mannerisms, an interest in things other than sports, how a person walked or sat, were things to take note of in new recruits.

During the Viet Nam War, knowing how stereotypical behavior could get a guy out of the draft, draftees would pretend to be gay.

One ironic result of this tactic used to avoid service was, according to a recruiter in San Francisco,

“All of my clients who faked [homosexuality] got their exemption – but they drafted the one fellow who really was gay.”

Perhaps there were flaws in the system.

The standard way to identify a Homosexual on first sighting was to look for the following:

Another man’s pupils dilating when he looks at you because this might be one indicator of his sexual attraction.

Someone with a  wider and shorter face with smaller and shorter nose and larger, more rounded jaws of a masculine  appearance.

Do they walk or sashay as Gay men tend to walk with a bit of a sway in their hip.

Is there a particular quality and tone to their voice that sounds Homosexual.

Does their hair follow the Gay man’s predominant counter-clockwise, whorl pattern.

If a person displayed any stereotypical actions, the assumptions were made, and not too long ago, even though I began with WWII, these observations were used to deny or take away employment, deny credit, housing, and upward mobility.

In a 1967 CBS documentary Mike Wallace summed up the gay men this way,

“The average homosexual, if there be such, is promiscuous. He is not interested or capable of a lasting relationship like that of a heterosexual   marriage. His sex life, his love life, consists of a series of one–chance encounters at the clubs and bars he inhabits. And even on the streets of the city — the pick-up, the one night stand, these are characteristics of the homosexual relationship.”

Wallace later regretted the program as facts about Gay people began to displace folk-lore.

When Senator Joseph McCarthy declared,

“Homosexuals must not be handling top-secret material. The pervert is easy prey to the blackmailer,”

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he did not connect that the blackmail was based on something politically created and unnecessary, and easily removed. It was based on some people’s obsession with telling the rest of us what we can and cannot do in our own lives because they may have a problem with it, not on anyone’s simply being Gay. 

There is this generational need to make sure there is some one group that everyone else can look down at and appreciate being so much better than. Stop doing that and no one can blackmail someone as there is no created secret to be kept if that upon which the blackmail is based is rendered powerless.

But there was a time when the signs of who a person was were totally external, visible, and not necessarily relevant in any way to the truth, taking the place of the unknown truth.

Some may think we are past this now. We have come a long way, and, if you choose neither to see nor accept what you might actually see, everything is just fine.

A Trump Administration rule issued on July 20 will allow homeless shelters to turn away Transgender people.

An Obama era Equal Access Rule required homeless shelters that receive HUD funding to house Transgender people with the gender they identify as, but Trump’s Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) has announced that it would be rolling that back to

 “better accommodate religious beliefs of shelter providers.”

Single-gender homeless shelters can once again decide if they want a housing policy based on sex assigned at birth or gender identity, which would allow shelters that house women to turn away Transgender women and those that house men to turn away Transgender men.

I guess Joseph and Mary knew rejection based on personal beliefs as, being a young couple not married long enough to have conceived a child in wedlock, they were sent away from inns on the excuse that there were no rooms.

Although short on specifics, to help in determining which needy men and women coming to them during the time of their greatest need a shelter can turn away even if there are enough beds, the rule does explain that in determining without a physical or visual inspection, or asking questions of a highly personal nature, a shelter worker can identify a Transgender woman by using

“factors such as height, the presence (but not the absence) of facial hair, the presence of an Adam’s apple, and other physical characteristics which, when considered together, are indicative of a person’s biological sex.”

How many shelter workers have the training in properly considering other physical characteristic, or even which they are, in order to determine the biological sex of a person they just met.

National Center for Transgender Equality Executive Director Mara Keisling responded in a statement,

“One in three transgender Americans has been homeless at some point in their lives, and this proposal would have them sleep on the street rather than get help.

The difference between being sheltered and unsheltered is especially dangerous for transgender homeless persons, particularly transgender persons of color, who face harassment and threats from private individuals, as well as elevated rates of policing and violence within police custody. When combined with President Trump’s recent policy proposals to increase criminalization of homelessness, while cutting HUD’s affordable housing budget and rolling back support for Housing First, it is clear that getting transgender persons off the street and out of harm’s way is a matter of life and death.”

Ben Carson criticized the Obama Equal Access Rule for allowing “big, hairy men” to “impede the rights of” real women who are “not comfortable with the idea of being in a shelter, being in a shower, with somebody who had very different anatomy.”

Immediately putting on public display the depth of his ignorance of what Transgender really means.

A sad day

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I took that test

Because I had reached sixty-five, and because having newly arrived in New Bedford and wanting to know I was entering a new chapter healthy enough to enjoy it, I had an appointment with my new doctor, who, along with all the medical checks, had a social worker in to do a “Senior” assessment.

I assume anyone on medicare or who is receiving some form of Social security has taken the test that establishes a starting point so any changes might be noticeable, especially if you are now where no one has met you yet and to whom all about you will be new to them.

They ask for the day and date. They ask about your living arrangements, wanting to know if you drive, do you feed yourself, can you get off the couch without help, before having you point to a chosen animal, write some words down, and finish with a drawing of an analog clock set at a certain time.

I obviously was not cognitively impaired, and, although that meant for all intents and purposes normal, average, the social worker, since handing out lollipops went against the health clinic’s healthy foods initiative, gave me a wooden tongue depressor as a prize.

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No one seemed surprised by the results as there had been nothing to indicate the need for a cognitive assessment beyond having a starting point.

If the results had people surprised at what they were, going so far as their admitting I had exceeded expectations, I would be curious to know what the expectation was and why.

Trump may want to know this too in his case.

travel restrictions

So my first thought was:

What if I go to Cape Cod for my yearly vacation? Am I to quarantine for 14 days which could cost me a whole lot more than I intended to spend to get a place for those additional 7 days?

My second thought was that this will curb the number of Florida license plates, and summer traffic on Cape Cod will be closer to reasonable.

Stating,

“There are no shortcuts when it comes to containing COVID-19. For months the residents of the Commonwealth have been vigilant and disrupted their daily routines. They’ve had to adopt new habits and we cannot and we must not let up now,”

Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker announced a travel policy to begin August 1. Returning state residents and visitors must fill out a “Massachusetts Travel Form” and quarantine for 14 days unless they are coming from an exempt, lower-risk state or can provide a negative COVID-19 test from the last 72 hours.

This applies to the annual great migration of college students into the state so incoming college students are included in the order.

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Remember, although you might vacation where there are beaches, and restaurants, and various types of entertainment, those who make these possible so you can go blissfully from one vacation day to the next live there year round and have friends and family who you rely on so you can relax.

These are also the people the governor governs, people living on a peninsula separated from the mainland by the world’s widest manmade canal whose population quintuples between Memorial Day and Labor Day as people from all over the United States converge to enjoy the beaches.

Like their litter on the beach, whatever the tourists leave behind, like the virus, these people will have to then deal with while making sure everything is in place for the next season’s tourists.

Acknowledging that Bay Staters worked hard to lower the COVID-19 rate saying,

Since March, the people in Massachusetts have made great sacrifices and shown great discipline. And as a result, our state has made great progress to slow the spread of COVID-19 and gradually reopen.”

He put some responsibility on tourists to not undo that.

“Every traveler coming to Massachusetts, no matter where they’re from, has a responsibility to help keep COVID-19 out of the Commonwealth.”

Had he been noah

GENESIS 6: 21-23:

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21 Every living thing that moved on land perished—birds, livestock, wild animals, all the creatures that swarm over the earth, and all mankind. 22 Everything on dry land that had the breath of life in its nostrils died. 23 Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out; people and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds were wiped from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark.

School is opening

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